I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's shark week go big or go home
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize