that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
