i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
