god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
