i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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