Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
