My vagina just recognized that song.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize