me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
