I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
