it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
