Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
There are leaves in my underwear?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
