time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize