Old men and throwing up are my life now.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
