I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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