I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
