and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
