I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
