My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
