So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
