i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
