So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
