I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
