you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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