Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I want her autograph on my taint
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
