North Korea, Best Korea!
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
