Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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