Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
