Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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