I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
