There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
