i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
