dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
