I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
