would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
