Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
