Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
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