would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
