why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
