Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
