Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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