I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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