Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
