If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
