Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
