Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
