everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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