I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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