I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
