take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
