it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
