and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
