walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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