honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
