how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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