no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Barsexuality is the new black.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
