I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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