Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
well you can't waste a boner
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
