walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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