you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We just shotgunned beers for America
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You have to summon your inner elephant
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
