On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
