some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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