Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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