So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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