Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize