For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
